Being D Illegal Dog

Being an illegal dog once every weekend seems like the happiest day of my life. Now I'm experiencing what other pure breed dogs pampered life are all about. I could walk to every direction as I wish and steal whatever food that I like. I can sit on the couch, on the sofa or just lay directly in the middle of the traffic. When I'm bored, I could watch the TV or even read the newspaper with my owner.
Playing with the boring toys can be fun if being done indoor with my two curious owner looking at my funny attic. I have the skill to play both the rope and ball all by myself. I can throw it up the air and fetch it, all being done alone. I'm indeed an independent mutt.
Both my owners tend to surprise me with a 'Come!' every few minutes with delicious tuna or some of their Maggi Mee. Its pretty easy to get some treats while being indoor, rather than jumping and doing the heeling at the outdoor. However, sometimes they will increase the level of difficulty by hiding themselves behind the door.
Sometimes my crazy owner will set up some of her DIY equipment and get me to do all the exercising while she just sit there throwing the ball. I have to keep on jumping thru and fro until I got both mentally and physically exhausted. This is what she thought is 'Flyball'. I find it pretty annoying though. Initially I tried to skip those jumps, but then she realized it and place additional stools in between those gaps.
After exhausted with the game, I'll have nap just beside my beloved pillow which is too small to fit my 'fat' body. So in order for me to sleep on that tiny pillow, my owner is trying to put me on diet. So this the reason why every friend tends to claim that I'm a starving dog.
Its dinner time! Life is all about eating. That's reason for a dog like me to have the courage to continue living. But eating directly from the family dining table seems a bit too much. Wonder what's the oldman reaction if he saw this picture. Faint to death, probably.
After the 'so-called' heavy meal, its time to continue the exploring journey. This is the opportunity to make use of my tracking and hunting ability to scent any junk food available on the floor.
Here comes the time where I've gotta do some business out there. To release all the protein, carbohydrate and fats that had been metabolize by my intestinal tract. And not to forget to empty my urinary bladder. Wow! A sigh of relieve. That's the disadvantage of being train up to only pee and poo at certain period of time during the entire day. I must start to lodge a complaint about dog abuse to SPCA soon. Please help to sign a petition and support the new rule of being allowed to pee and poo four times a day. Not to forget remember to keep a lookout to check wether anybody is coming back earlier than expected.
Nite Nite. After the wonderful weekend, I better had a quick nap before the time for me to 'Get Out' from the house and head back into the 4x4m cage that's belong to that annoying Hero, who thought that he's actually a MKA certified Boxer. He can't even win me though, both mentally and physically. ~Sweet dreams~